little-red-clitoral-hood

Ok I need to tell you guys something

I know @darkcelticking personally, we were in the same class in high school together, and there’s a very deep and traumatic reason why he is the way he is.

You see, there was this girl he knew, we’ll call her Amy. She was his first girlfriend. They met in grade 9 and were kind of casual friends, like they’d eat lunch together and stuff but never really hung out together out of school. That is until grade 10 when they started actually dating. Darkie was always horribly awkward and maladjusted, and he had a hard time actually developing long term friendships with like… anybody. The only person who seemed to be able to tolerate him for a long time was this quite kid with chronic acne who gave off major serial killer vibes. So this was a pretty big deal. Amy was a fairly average, slightly “alt” kind of girl. She had brown hair, wore dark eye makeup and those mesh gloves that baby goths/scene kids wore in like the early 2000′s, but otherwise was pretty normal. She wasn’t popular but wasn’t an “outcast”, she had a couple friends but for the most part she just kind of faded into the background. For some reason though, Darkie inevitably became a bit obsessed with her.

He was head over heels by like… day two. Like he was the kind of guy to come to school smelling of pungent onion body odor, with greasy hair and wearing a musty trench coat. Suddenly after dating Amy he started showering regularly, and although he didn’t stop wearing the trench coat, he did start wearing eye liner to match hers. There was something oddly cute about that, but I digress. 

Suffice it to say she was the first person I think he had ever fallen in love with, and you could see the ways he was trying to improve himself for her. But everything went downhill about 6 months in.

He and Amy started getting intimate, and Darkie pushed the line. He had… interests. Unique interests and he mistakenly decided he could trust Amy enough to let her know what those interests were. That was his first downfall. 
Amy apparently did pretty well to keep up a poker face when he told her, but deep down she knew she needed to get out of this relationship, and fast. He convinced her though to just try it, just once, and see how it made her feel. 

And…

He wanted to film it. 

Reluctantly, for whatever reason, she agreed. 

So Darkie went and got the pudding, and the latex glove. 
He set up his camera - well, it was actually his dad’s camera, which will be relevant later - and pulled down his pants. 

Splaying his ass up in the air for her, still wearing his trench coat, Amy hesitantly dipped her gloved hand into the vanilla pudding cup, and, having retrieved a hearty glob, began inserting the pudding into his asshole. The moans were instantaneous, and extremely loud. You could see the pained emotion of discomfort on her face, and the clear struggle between wanting to please her partner and wanting to get the fuck out of this weird vanilla scented hell hole. He was almost screaming by the third insertion, but you could tell it was getting to be too much for her.

“Please,” he groaned, “rub it on my penis too. Cover me in it, cover me in the pudding”. 

Her back was to him at this point, she was trembling - not sure with what, disgust, fear, who ever knows, that poor girl. 

“Amy,” he cried, writhing slightly in desperation, droplets of pudding covering his pasty white ass cheeks.

“Is this…” She spoke so softly you almost couldn’t hear her on the video, “Is this why you always called me “pudding” so affectionately…?”

She couldn’t wait for the answer. She put the half empty cup down on his dresser, and made her way to the door, dropping the glove as she went. 

“Amy wait-!!” He cried out. 

He pulled his pants on quickly, bits of pudding adhering to the waist band in his hurry, and took off after her, forgetting about the camera. 

That was his second mistake.

His brother found it a few days later when he went to use it for a school project. I know Darkie blames Amy for distributing that footage but I know it was his brother. We all saw it, it made the rounds on facebook within the night. I don’t think anyone has been able to touch pudding since, honestly. Certainly not Amy.

Darkie never came to school again after that. People started leaving unopened pudding cups on his old desk in a weird kind of memorial for him. The serial killer kid would always eat them. That was also weird. Apparently Darkie eventually moved and lived with his grandparents for a while. The worst part is that Amy started dating his brother soon after, and I heard they got married last year. Darkie didn’t attend, obviously. 

So just know, you guys, the next time you make fun of Darkie for being an incel… just know there’s so much more trauma behind it than that. Think before you speak.